How To

How NOT to go about changing your life

It’s all very well and good to be talking about all the cool mindset transforming stuff you can do in order to change your life into the awesome one you know you deserve (head HERE if you want some more info on that!) but I thought it might be time to address the DON’TS. You know, the things you might be doing, thinking they will have some super cool impact on your life, but are actually having the opposite affect.

So here it is, how not to go about changing your life:

  1. Don’t focus on the external stuff

My Quarter Life Crisis lasted about a decade because ALL I focused on was changing the career I didn’t love, the job that made me bored, the friends that weren’t particularly healthy for me, the lack of a decent boyfriend and spending my time doing crap that just didn’t make me happy i.e. in epic victim mode.

Those external circumstances weren’t the problem, it was my internal state or my mindset that was. No matter how much effort I put into changing these circumstances, I never seemed to make any progress at all because I wasn’t addressing the real problem.

To make matters worse I didn’t realize that focusing so intently on this stuff would only ensure that my life became even more full of this stuff I wasn’t loving. And that’s exactly what happened.

It wasn’t until I finally learned that your life is a complete reflection of what’s going on inside your mind and changed my focus accordingly that things started to change. And OMG the changes that took place happened in the most stress free, struggle free, relaxed most awesome way.

Once I committed to giving this a go, it was seriously only months before I had a new job, a new boyfriend (now husband) and was planning and epic move to the country (read more about my story HERE). Yup, my life totally, completely and 100% transformed because of shifting my focus in this way.

2. Don’t force things

This is all about remembering and actually living life from the inside out. Once you’re putting your focus on what’s happening inside your mind as opposed to your external circumstances you’ll realize that the whole need to control things, push and force things to get the outcomes you want is a ridiculous waste of time and energy.

Relax and take the action you’re inspired to take (as opposed to the action you think you need to take) and life will unfold in the most spectacular way.

3. Don’t ignore yourself

This is all about staying true to who YOU are. You know yourself better than you think you do and can answer all your own epic question about your life and what you should be doing with it.

So don’t go dating someone, choosing careers, staying in the job you hate just because your mom or some other well meaning family member or friend told you too. You’ll never be happy doing that.

4. Don’t try and be perfect

Because it won’t ever happen and you’ll just be disappointed and hate on yourself. The name of this game is SELF-LOVE. And this means love yourself. Love what you’ve done to get yourself where you are now, love every attempt you make to improve your life, love every mistake you make because they are only making you better. We all fall, say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing and it’s how you treat yourself in those moments that matters the most.

5. Don’t give up

I get it. This work can seem really hard and confusing and complicated and annoying at first. There will for sure be part of you that wants to throw it all in and just be happy with a life that isn’t the one you really want.

Do that and I assure you that you’re only going to come back to this place again and again and again until you learn these lessons. You’re reading these words right now because you’re supposed to. There is something in what I have to say that you need to learn on your path to make your life the most epic it can be.

So don’t give up (there’s no point because life won’t let you). Stick your head down, your bum up and get to work improving your mindset and the way that you’re approaching your life so it can be what you want and deserve.

5 Reasons to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

For the last few weeks I’ve been chatting a ton about how fear can keep you locked safely within your comfort zone…and in a life that you’re not loving (catch up on all my previous posts HERE).

If you’re after massive life transformation then I hate to break it to you, but you’re NEVER EVER going to get it until you recognize how fear is holding you back and take the action required to get over it.

And if you need a little more convincing, because yes, the idea of facing your fears may not be particularly pleasant (though it does get waaaaaaay better I promise) then read on…

Here are the top 5 reasons (there are about 100000 more I could list…) why getting out of your comfort zone and smashing through your fears is THE BEST thing you’ll ever do for yourself:

  1. You’ll gain clarity

    If you’re anything like me when I was all stuck in my Quarter Life Crisis, you may be feeling insanely lost and confused about where you should be headed in life, let alone how to get there. I was paralyzed by indecision and as a result stayed exactly where I was in life, just getting a heap more frustrated, annoyed and disappointed with myself as the days, weeks and years progressed.

    It wasn’t until I hit the lowest point of my QLC (read more about that HERE if you so choose to) that I just said f!@# it, something has to change. I knew I had to start DOING something so threw myself at anything and everything that came my way; dance classes, random invitations out to places I usually wouldn’t have gone, dating like a champion, golf lessons, horse riding, going out alone, making new friends…you name it, I tried it.

    It was through this seemingly random action that I started to get the clarity I so badly needed about what I really wanted from life and how to get it. I started just following what seemed like my whims, but gradually I could see more specific opportunities come my way…like a project at work that led to a change in my job that led to my dream job or the pile of dates with ok guys, to the one where I met my now husband, which led to a move to the country with him where I’ve never been happier.

    Decide to take action, don’t over think it, just get out there are start doing stuff you wouldn’t usually do or keep putting off. Take whatever opportunities come your way because I promise you, you cannot predict the all kinds of awesome that will happen when you approach life this way. Life wants to unfold in the most epic way ever if you give it a chance to. But YOU have to start living it first.

  2. You’ll feel amazing

    Think back to being a kid and how awesome it felt when you first went the whole way across the monkey bars, worked out a long division problem in math (that one stillllll eludes me…), performed the lead role in the school play, learnt how to swim, went on your first date, got your driver's licence, the list goes on...

    Life back then was always full of firsts and new challenges and subsequently the high and all the awesome feelings associated with mastering something new and doing yourself proud.

    Getting outside your comfort zone will do the exact same thing for you now.

    It’s the fastest way to find new love for yourself, be proud of who you are and what you’ve accomplished, feel alive, empowered and like you can conquer the world. Oh and did I mention how much FUN it is too?!?!?! Because it can be the most fun ever, if you let it.

  3. You’ll welcome change

    Life is all about change. If you’re currently stuck in a life you’re not loving and you want something better, then you’re going to have to start welcoming change. And getting outside your comfort zone is welcoming change with your arms wide open. It’s finally declaring that you’re ready for the epic life you’ve been waiting for.

    Meeting your fears head on you will learn pretty quickly that there really isn’t anything to fear (except fear itself because that what keeps you in a crap life, thanks Roosevelt). You’ll find that every fear you tackle brings you some awesome new opportunity and that failure isn’t a thing if you don’t want it to be, it’s just an opportunity to grow.

    Once you seek these challenges you’ll find the way that you handle life’s ups and downs changes completely. You will be more resilient, confident and prepared. You will know you can tackle anything that comes your way and you’ll be set up for life.

  4. You’ll be epic

    Getting outside your comfort zone is how epic people become epic. This is because challenging yourself is the fastest way to grow.

    “A comfort zone is a beautiful place but nothing ever grows there.”

    Consider your life currently living within you comfort zone? How epic is it? I’m guessing not very, which is why you’re reading this post.

    Think about all the cool people in the world that have done crazy amazing things; Richard Branson, Henry Ford, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, J.K Rowling, Serena Williams… Do you think that any of these people achieved what they have from staying within their comfort zone, playing safe, caring what other people thought of them or staying within societal expectations?

    Every wildly successful, or even moderately successful person takes risks and pushes themselves outside what they consider comfortable. They get comfortable being uncomfortable.

  5. You’ll end up closer to the life you want

    “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

    All of the four reasons above combine to bring you a whole lot closer to the awesome life that you’re after. Getting outside your comfort zone will throw you into the path of amazing new opportunities that weren’t previously available to you. As you meet each challenge you set yourself, your confidence will grow and if you continue to raise the bar higher, your life will improve exponentially.

If any of these reasons sound vaguely appealing to you then OMG you’re in luck because I happen to have created a FREE 5 DAY comfort zone smashing challenge, 5 Days to Freedom, that will not only have you feeling like the BEST and most EMPOWERED version of yourself, it will have you powering towards a life filled with all the fun and happiness you know your life can and should be giving you.

You just wait for the results.

When I set myself a similar challenge a few years ago, it seriously was only months till I landed my dream job, had an amazing new boyfriend (now my husband) and plans to move to the country where I am now and have never been so happy!

Not to mention the fact that I felt ALIVE for the first time in years. I felt like I was finally myself in the most happy, empowered, confident, unstoppable and fun loving version possible.

Because I get epic FOMO and I know how powerful this stuff can be, I’m going to be doing the challenge along with you all. I also get that getting out of your comfort zone can be a little scary so I’ve set up a Facebook Group for the challenge where we can have epic chats and a whole lot of fun doing it all together!

So…now’s your chance to take the plunge, step outside your comfort zone and start powering into the awesome life I know you want. Sign up HERE and totally grab a friend, or two, or more and sign them up too…let’s make this thing HUGE!