Do you have crap friends?

I used to. And a whole group of them too.

So part of the whole Quarter Life Crisis situation comes from that feeling like you’re just not living a life that reflects who you really are. Because I am obviously super special, pretty much every aspect of my life gave me that feeling (if you haven’t already check out my story HERE) but there was a particularly vivid period where my friends were completely at odds with who I was and really, well actually, completely sucked.

These friends were my high school friends that during high school were epic, super fun and just lit me up inside (I’m actually smiling now thinking of how awesome those years were). We did all the usual fun stuff, like laughing till we peed at anything and everything, epic sleepovers and experiencing and then dissecting all those young adult (how old does that phrase make me sound!?!) firsts together.

We continued to hang out well after high school but ever so gradually I could feel myself getting sucked down a rabbit hole with them that something deep inside of me was SCREAMING at me to avoid.

Not sure why or how it happened, but that epic and super fun group of girls turned into a super bitchy, dysfunctional and completely superficial mess of intense competition and horrifically awkward passive aggressiveness.

Everything became about all the usual superficial things like being seen at the ‘right’ places, with the ‘right’ people, wearing the ‘right’ clothes or tearing down which ever ‘friend’ happened to not be present. It makes me tired just thinking about it and how hard I felt I needed to try to keep up and be liked by them.

These people were sucking my soul.

And this brings us to the most awesome part of one’s Quarter Life Crisis…the MASSIVE and LIFE CHANGING opportunity it gives you to re-evaluate and ensure that you don’t settle anything less than the life that you should, and deep down know, you could be living i.e. to not waste your time with crap friends.

Like every challenge my Quarter Life Crisis presented, I had two options:

  1. Ignore the part of me that was screaming at me to and ditch these friends, give up and become just like them ensuring a miserable life of endlessly trying to be someone I’m just not.

    OR

  2. Listen to that screaming voice (which PS, was the real me), have some courage, take a big step outside my comfort zone, ditch the friends, give up all the pointless effort to fit in with them and have a chance at genuine happiness.

Racing = trying to fit in/keep up with/pretend you like friends that suck!

Racing = trying to fit in/keep up with/pretend you like friends that suck!

All well and good in theory right? Bloody hard in practice. Like who wants to be friendless in their 20s, when there is so much friend fun to be had?! What kind of hideous recluse would I be destined to become?

These thoughts kept me paralyzed for quite sometime but that inner screaming voice just wouldn’t stop once is got started (and pssst, if you’ve got one yelling at you right now, it’s not going to stop either) and only got louder and louder until events unfolded in a way that allowed me to burn my bridges with these friends like there was no tomorrow.

Friendlessness it was…or so I thought.

This is just one examples of about 1000000 I can give you in my life (and others can attest to as well) that listening to that inner voice ALWAYS pays off. I wish I could express in words just how well that inner voice knows what is best for you and trusting it is all you have to do.

Once I cleared the decks in my life for new people, I realized I actually had a ton of other and unsurprisingly way more healthy friends I could hang out with. I had more time to spend with my family, who I hadn’t quite appreciated until then for all their awesomeness, started back doing things I loved like horse riding and took up new things like golf (pretty random I know!) and met a ton of WAAAAAAAY more awesome people that guess what, made me feel awesome too.

I know it’s hard but seriously take a look at the people in your life and really consider whether they are there helping or hindering your happiness…

And PS if you want any help with that, lemme know xx